Monday, January 7, 2013

A tough call

I'm sitting here, watching the National Championship Game between Alabama and Notre Dame, trying to decide which team Tom would be cheering for.  First of all, he wouldn't be cheering - he watches silently while I "comment" on touchdowns and bad plays.   He would usually pull for the SEC team, but growing up a good Catholic boy with lots of relatives that are Notre Dame fans, he might pull for them too!  He would want to be watching a good game.  So far, it's a little lopsided!

It was good to get back to Church and Sunday School yesterday.  I wasn't sure how it would feel to walk in again but it was comforting.  I did not cry at all except when we said the Lord's Prayer.  Tom and I said that together for the last time Friday night before I left the hospital.

I was caught off-guard today.  I was looking for a file on my computer and noticed that it was dated 12/21/12 - the day before Tom died.  I just hung my head and cried - knowing that on that day, I had no idea what was going to happen - still hoping and praying and promising Tom that he was going to get to UAB.  Tom's illness taught me to be much stronger than I could have ever imagined but that just took my breath away.  I really don't want that to happen at work or any public place.

Opening the mail has been emotional too - each day I receive several sympathy cards and notes that are just so thoughful and comforting.  It is hard to explain but I can't believe they are addressed to me.

Debbie and Meagan are coming to visit this weekend.  I am really looking forward to it.  I also have a trip planned to visit family in Arizona.  I know I've mentioned it before (probably in the last post) but I will say it again and again . . . I always told Tom if he ever left me, I was keeping the family.  They are keeping me too - I am so blessed and thankful!! 

Otherwise, the puppies and I are doing alright.  I am just beginning to handle the "business" stuff, it is not too fun.  I am learning that you need to get on it but it is really hard when the pain is so fresh. 

Thanks to you all for keeping Cathy, Debbie, Tom's dad & family, and me in your prayers.  I ask that you remember our extended family of aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, cousins, and in-laws who are mourning as well.

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