Endurance

I've been waiting for what I call a "butterfly moment" . . .

I read this story once about someone who lost a loved one.  The loved one had a thing for butterflies.  Once, during a particularly difficult time, a butterfly landed on the window ledge - kind of a sign that the loved one was still present.

I've been praying for something like that.  This Sunday, during the church service, our Senior Pastor's sermon was based on Isaiah 40:28-31.  This was one of Tom's favorite Bible verses and the one his sissters recommended we have printed in the memorial folders that were available at his service.  The sermon, titled "To Walk and Not Faint" had three points:

• Ecstasy - from the verse "They shall mount up with wings like eagles."
• Energy - from the verse "They shall run and not be weary."
• Endurance - from the verse "They shall walk and not faint."

Two of the hymns Sunday were also a part of Tom's service ("Great Is Thy Faithfulness" and "On Eagle's Wings").  Tom had endurance throughout his 21 months of illness and suffering.  I find strength from his fight to have the endurance to continue on.  Maybe this was the butterfly moment for me. 

Needless to say I cried through the entire service, but it was also good.  Not long after I got home from church, I received a call from two church members who wanted to come by and bring me some flowers.  They take the large bouquet of altar flowers and divide it up into small arrangements and deliver them to those who have experienced loss or illness.  It was a day filled with wonderful memories and blessings - especially since I spent a good part of the weekend thinking about the fact that yesterday marked the one month anniversary of the day that Tom passed away.

It's been very comforting that so many people remembered too.  I received calls, e-mails, texts, and chats throughout the day.  THANK YOU!!!!

Alive Hospice offers a Grief Support Group that meets at church 4 times throughout the year.  I called last week to see if there were any openings in the group that started last Thursday night.  The coordinator said she could squeeze me in but after looking at the make-up of the group, thought it would be better if I waited until the March session.  She said most of the folks had lost parents and there were only two "widows" in the group.  I can tell you right now, I do not like that title at all! 

Otherwise, the pups and I are doing OK.  My neighbors are taking good care of Finley and Fritzi during the week.  I wore them out this weekend while the weather was nice.  Someone asked me this week if I thought they missed Tom - I'm sure they do.  Here is a picture of them sitting in Tom's chair:

We've got plans for several visits to family and friends in the near future so we're looking forward to that. 

I know your prayers continue to carry us through this difficult time.  Cathy, Debbie, Tom's dad and I communicate regularly along with aunts/uncles/cousins/nieces.  Of course my parents and sisters are also a huge part of my support team as we are all grieving.  A special thanks to my co-workers - who see me the most and are always ready to offer a tissue and hug, and our friends - I stay in touch with as many of "Tom's friends" as I do "mine". 

God bless you all!